4 posts tagged “career”
1. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Who says I ever plan on growing up? I think the secret to happiness lies in becoming responsible and mature while still remaining young at heart, and I honestly try to do that to the best of my ability. If you're talking career though, I'd like to continue growing and building on what I'm doing currently. I'll always write and I'll always make art because I love it so much. Those things have been part of my life since childhood and when I'm not actively doing them at a given time, I actually feel kind of lost.
I would also like to continue exploring more options that are related to my interest in astrology. I'm turning out to be really good at doing it on a professional basis, and it obviously merges well with my ability to express myself through both writing and art. I'd also like to someday explore more options in regards to combining my interest in writing with my interest in wine and food.
2. What did you want to be when you were younger? How does this compare with your life now and your vision of your future life?
When I was younger, I don't know that you could really call me very ambitious. I equated the idea of having a career with being chained to a desk and living at the mercy of some boss whom you may or may not get along with. That was before I found out it was possible to find ways to do things you love and that you're good at within parameters that feel comfortable to you.
I did nevertheless half-heartedly consider several options as far as a career path goes, since we all have to do something. I majored in psychology for a while, and thought about becoming a therapist. I also considered turning my love for animals into a veterinary career. I even actually worked as a veterinary technician for a while, but nothing I tried was a very good fit. At heart, I guess I've always been a quiet, creative type.
As far as how all that compares to where I wound up, I guess I thought I'd probably be directionless, or else trapped in a job that didn't really fit me, for the rest of my life. I never imagined that I'd actually find work that I love and actually look forward to what the future might bring my way from a career standpoint.
3. Are there dreams you've given up on for reasons other than changing desires? What made you give up on them, and how do you feel about them in hindsight?
Like I said, I don't know that I ever had "dreams" in the way most young people do. In many ways, I'm learning to dream for the first time at this stage of my life because I'm only just now reaching a point where I'm exploring different places to live, career options, and choices in regards to how I can live my life. I had no idea there were so many choices out there. In regards to dreams though, I don't believe in giving up on anything you really want or believe in. It turns out that a lot of things are easier to accomplish than they seem at first.
4. Are there things (like marriage or college) that you've always believed would be part of your life? Did you get them? Are you still looking? Have you moved on?
Well, I guess most of my thoughts about the future when I was young revolved around the idea of being in a major relationship or a marriage. However, after a bunch of failed relationships, I've kind of given up the ghost in regards to ever finding a perfect one. I'm just not someone that can make my life about someone else, nor do I want to be anymore. I do still value the idea and the experience of being in a relationship, but I no longer expect to get total fulfillment out of it. I've learned to turn to my career and personal achievements for that, and I have to admit that my mother was right. That's a much better, healthier way to go.
I also suppose I hoped travel would be a bigger part of my life by now, but alas. I've lacked the funds to really make that happen. I also think I've lacked the independence, but all of that has been changing dramatically in recent years. Traveling is something I've always wanted to do a lot of in my life -- especially in regards to Europe. I'd honestly even like to try living in England, Ireland, Scotland, or France if the opportunity ever presents itself. I have definitely not given up on that dream. I still am very serious about making it happen someday.
5. What is part of your life now that you would never have imagined as a child or teenager?
Probably responsibility. As I touched on above, I always imagined myself married to a husband that could and would take care of all that stuff for me, but life really didn't work out that way. I didn't see or want a career, a full life like I have now, or any sort of variety and change at all. I guess I imagined my entire life as turning out very different from the way it did, but I'm hardly disappointed. I don't think I would have been truly happy as a common hausfrau, to be honest, and it really would have been a shame. Even if I do say so myself, I'm really very talented in a number of different ways, and it would have been a shame not to have gotten a chance to really explore what I could do with those talents.
Sometimes I enjoy wondering just for the hell of it what my life would have been like if I were raised differently. I'm curious to know how much a different upbringing might or might not have influenced how I wound up applying some of my innate gifts as an adult.
It probably sounds a bit weird out of context, but as a result of a random conversation from yesterday, I've been wondering what would have happened if I were raised in a home where religion was really, really important. Like... say for instance that my mom was a staunch Catholic instead of a lapsed Catholic and she had decided to raise me up with Catholicism as a major influence. I think my life path could well have taken a different direction.
Now... this is going to sound very strange to those of you who know me well, but I think I actually would have been comfortable living a very religious, pious life providing it was something that I did from the very beginning. I have a tremendous sense of dedication to whatever I apply myself to, and I have actually never known anyone in real life who has the kind of willpower I have. I'm never even tempted to color outside the lines when it comes to anything I consider to be a moral or ethical issue. I'm really not.
Under those circumstances, I bet I would have made a terrific nun or religious leader or something. I even think I would have enjoyed "Catholic guilt" in a really weird way. There's part of me that really likes holding myself to my own set of rules, and I think that if I had grown up religious and adopted those ideals from an early age, I would happily hold myself to the rules of my religion just as dutifully.
Plus, I've always been rather fascinated by religion... particularly Catholicism. Actually, right after I moved to Great Falls, I went to Seth's cousin's wedding, which just happened to be a Catholic wedding. I thought it was beautiful, and I remember actually feeling jealous that I wasn't actually a part of the truly beautiful tradition I was witnessing, because part of me really wanted to be. I honestly wished I knew the responses, or was able to take communion at the very least.
This isn't to mean that I actually actively wish I were raised Catholic. I like how my life is turning out in thisreality way too much for that. Plus, the way I figure it, everything goes down pretty much the way it's supposed to, so if that were something I was meant for, it would have been so. However, I do often wonder what would have happened if things were different in certain respects.
I wonder if I'd still write and paint at all, or if I really would have eventually chosen to become a nun and dedicate myself to God. That certainly would have appealed to the younger me -- the me that never even wanted to leave home, didn't want anything to do with any sort of career, and wanted only to be protected for the rest of my life. I wonder if I would have found a way to use my creative gifts in a different way, or if I simply wouldn't have felt the need to do that at all the way I do in this life. Perhaps those things have become my own substitute for something else that I didn't have, and they wouldn't have been needed in another reality.
I definitely figure there are probably good reasons why that wasn't the life I was given. For instance, in astrology, the positions of your lunar nodes supposedly dictate what your destiny is supposed to be -- what traits you're supposed to be working toward acquiring, and what traits you're supposed to be working on leaving behind. My Southern node is in Taurus, meaning I naturally have a tendency to want to stick close to home, be kept safe, and never venture very far out into the world. There's more, but that's the gist of it. I'm supposed to be working on all of that.
My Northern node is in Scorpio, meaning that I'm actually meant to venture far and wide and have many different experiences in a variety of settings. I'm supposed to become comfortable with leading and with being someone who is charismatic, creative, and (supposedly) powerful. Transformation is the watchword for people with that position, and that's definitely something that's been forced down my throat in this lifetime, like it or not, although I can definitely say I've begun to embrace it at least semi-willingly in recent years. Learning to roll with the punches has earned me far fewer cosmic black eyes than I used to get.
I do not believe I would have successfully begun to progress in the direction I'm allegedly supposed to if I'd been raised religious. I would have wrapped my religion around me like a warm, soft blanket and happily sequestered myself away from the world... probably fairly early in life, too. I probably wouldn't have become an artist, a writer, or anything else that even kind of required me to actually be "out there" and part of the world. Most of you would very likely never even have heard of me. Weird, eh?
In other news, I'm pretty excited about a new job I applied for a little bit ago. I only just found out today that I actually got it! I'll be in charge of producing a monthly astrology newsletter, including actually making and writing up the predictions. I'm really excited, because this is something I always thought I'd enjoy doing, but I never really knew how you went about applying for such a thing. Well... now I know, and I can't wait to start! It pays well, too!
I'm really trying to keep the promise I made to myself that I wouldn't let my work projects keep me from continuing to pursue my personal projects. For a while, I was seriously considering forgoing NaNoWriMo altogether this year, but then I decided against it. I should be factoring things like that into the mix when I'm divvying out my time for the month, so I did that. Between the new astrology job and a couple more projects I've been given by two of my regular clients, I've got more than enough going to keep the cash flowing through November, but not so much that I won't have time to work on my NaNo novel.
Now if I can only manage to get back in the habit of painting on a regular basis. I haven't finished a single piece of new artwork since I moved to Montana! I'm pretty sure most of my fans on Deviant Art think I'm dead.
The Internet, of course, has changed many things for the good. But is it all good? What is the biggest problem the Internet has created for you or the world?
I'm rarely a die-hard "hey look the glass is half full" type of person, but when it comes to the topic of the internet, I am. I have met people, had experiences, and found opportunities via the internet that I wouldnot have gotten any other way. I personally don't feel it's true that the internet cuts you off from the rest of the world. I've always been a very shy, very introverted person, so in my case it actually got me to the point where I was making more connections with others as opposed to fewer.
The People I've Met
As I mentioned above, I am incredibly introverted and always have been. I just never have been, and very likely never will be, the type of person that goes out of their way to be friendly or make friends in real life. I have always kept to myself and disliked a lot of interaction or attention, especially if it's totally uninvited. As a result, I often didn't wind up building any close relationships with others at all or going very far out of my way to pursue job opportunities. My extreme introversion was kind of holding me back in life and probably always would have.
The internet has actually done a lot to open me up to new possibilities. For one thing, I get to express myself through writing here, and I've always been confident in my abilities as a writer. It took awhile for me to realize it, but I actually felt quite comfortable talking to people or approaching others when I was allowed to do it that way. As a result, I've met a lot of people from all over the world that my life literally wouldn't be the same without. My fiancé, for instance, and his awesome family, not mention any number of friends, fans, clients, and so forth that have made a huge difference in my quality of life over the past few years.
The Business Opportunities
I've always wanted to be someone who actually did my art and writing for an actual living on a freelance basis. However, because of my shyness and discomfort when it comes to pounding the pavement looking for clients, I know it's something I never would have actually done without the internet. The potential pay-off just would not have outweighed the horror involved with actually making cold calls or knocking on doors. Yes, it's still a lot of work to find clients, advertise myself, and prove myself to prospective buyers, but I'm able to do it within my comfort zone now. As a result, I've learned to have fun with it. I love that side of freelancing, actually.
Plus, I'm able to reach people all over the world when I utilize the internet. I have fans and clients from all over the globe. Sometimes I'm still caught by surprise in regards to the number of people I'm able to reach just by doing my own thing. That's something I wouldn't have been able to accomplish nearly as easily if I decided the internet was evil and that I was only going to try to market my services locally.
Oddly enough, having so much of my life and my career directly connected to the internet like this has helped me become more outgoing in real life. Don't get me wrong. I'll always kind of be shy and anti-social, but the additional confidence I've gained because of the things I've been able to achieve professionally and socially online has carried over into real life as well. I find it easier to talk to and approach people than I used to, so no... definitely no downside for me when it comes to the internet. I'm living proof that it can be used as a productive force that can really enhance your life and make it everything it can be.
