50 posts tagged “art”

There must be something in the air. People have just been frustrating me to no end lately, and I don't think anything frustrates me quite the way being misunderstood does. (And no, this has nothing to do with anyone here. It's an art world thing.)

One thing that it is really important to me to do when it comes to the small following I do have in regards to my creative work is to set the kind of example that I personally consider ideal. When I first started doing all this, I really never expected anyone to give a crap about my work or to look up to me, but there really do seem to be a lot of newer, younger artists who do. I feel obligated to make sure I'm doing right by them.

One thing that really irritates me about other "bigger" artists who have achieved any measure of success with their work is their attitude toward those that look up to them. Many of them seem to want their fans to think they're perfect, and they seem to take pleasure in the fact that so many young artists look at their work, feel discouraged, and think "I could never do anything like that". They don't seem to feel any responsibility for their fans or any compulsion to help or encourage other artists.

I've always been different in that respect. People thinking I'm "perfect" irritates me and annoys me, because it's just not true. I personally don't even consider "perfection" to be desirable. I want my fans to realize how hard I worked to be any good at what I do, and how hard I still work out of a desire to be even better. I want them to know how shitty-looking my first drawings were and how frustrated I sometimes stillget when I can't get something just right. I want them to look at me and see something that they can become if they want to, and I want them to know that I'm not anywhere near where I want to be. I'm still very much a work in progress, and the creative struggles they experience are very much still present in my life.

To me, the only perk in having any power or sway over anyone else is the fact that with it comes an opportunity to use it to help make that person's life better. That's really what I try to accomplish to the best of my ability. I won't tell anyone how to make art just like mine, but I will give them tips on how to get more exposure, how to price their work, or how to start attracting potential customers if they need or want advice. 

I will encourage people to push past things like artist's block, discouraging comments from people who don't understand their passion, and so forth. I will do those things because I wish some other artist had cared enough to do them for me when I was just starting out. If I can help even a couple of other artists not give up on the passion that means so much to them, then I will consider my life to have been well spent.

I guess for that reason, it irritates me when people mistake my candidness and honesty about hard experiences, discouragement, or failures I've experienced for potshots I'm taking at myself. I don't share them because I want to be bucked up by anyone or told I should think more of myself and take credit for just being "really gifted". I've never had a problem admitting that I think I'm extremely good at what I do and deserve every bit of the recognition I've gotten. However, I'm also extremely proud of having been a very hard worker, so statements like that feel just like a slap in the face sometimes. 

I do it because I want others to know that I was right where they were once, and that in many ways I still am. I mostly have stubbornness and hard-headedness hard work and dedication to thank for any progress I've made -- not luck, not bullshit, not "pure talent". Some talent, yes... but pure, magic, effortless talent? Hell no! Anyone who'd ever seen my earliest attempts at art would know this, because they were not masterpieces. I get artist's block, too. I see work by artists who are better than me and get jealous, too. I have techniques I wish I could master and can't quite pick up the same as they do. I even have days where I look at my work, feel like it all absolutely sucks, and wonder why I even bother just like anyone else.

I want people to realize that if I can achieve something through dedication and hard work, then that means they can do it, too. And if it turns out they can't? Well, at least they gave it their best shot, and that's something to be proud of as well. Not enough people really try anymore when it comes to things they want for themselves, or they do what I did and put off the trying for far too long, and that saddens me. I really, really want to change that for others in any way I can.

Anyone want to see my kick-ass cover art for my current NaNoWriMo novel? Those of you who are also participating may have noticed that they have a spot to upload a cover concept this year. You know I couldn't turn down the opportunity to actually show off some original art along with my writing for people who actually click through and check out excerpts now and then. This NaNo stuff is serious business, man. 

Of course, it probably would have been smarter of me to actually get that done before NaNo started so the massive traffic jam the NaNo site is now wouldn't get in the way of my uploading it, but whatever. I'm persistent.

The piece used as the background depicts my main character, Lucy Locket. The following is the plot synopsis I have posted on my NaNo profile, for those that haven't somehow caught what the book is about from one of my other posts on the subject. 

The Pocket chronicles the lives of two women in Victorian London -- Lucy, a brash, ignorant barmaid and Kitty, a woman of considerable means, but exceedingly scandalous origins.

For Lucy, Kitty symbolizes everything she wishes to be but has never been able to become, and she will stop at nothing to work her own way up to a similar position of luxury and seeming freedom. However, all things come with a price and all actions have their consequences. Lucy's desire to improve her lot in life soon develops into a dangerous obsession that threatens the well-being not only of Kitty herself, but also an innocent gentleman who becomes inextricably linked to both women in ways he never expected and certainly never bargained for.

A study in greed, lust, excess, and obsession, The Pocket explores the dynamics of life and position in a London long faded and turned to dust, even if the issues its citizens struggled with on a day to day basis have not.

I created this piece specifically for the cover of this book, so I'm sorry to say it won't be available as a print. However, if when I ever get around to editing the work when it's finished and putting up for sale in one of my shops, this will indeed be the cover I use.

The Internet, of course, has changed many things for the good. But is it all good? What is the biggest problem the Internet has created for you or the world?

I'm rarely a die-hard "hey look the glass is half full" type of person, but when it comes to the topic of the internet, I am. I have met people, had experiences, and found opportunities via the internet that I wouldnot have gotten any other way. I personally don't feel it's true that the internet cuts you off from the rest of the world. I've always been a very shy, very introverted person, so in my case it actually got me to the point where I was making more connections with others as opposed to fewer. 

The People I've Met

As I mentioned above, I am incredibly introverted and always have been. I just never have been, and very likely never will be, the type of person that goes out of their way to be friendly or make friends in real life. I have always kept to myself and disliked a lot of interaction or attention, especially if it's totally uninvited. As a result, I often didn't wind up building any close relationships with others at all or going very far out of my way to pursue job opportunities. My extreme introversion was kind of holding me back in life and probably always would have.

The internet has actually done a lot to open me up to new possibilities. For one thing, I get to express myself through writing here, and I've always been confident in my abilities as a writer. It took awhile for me to realize it, but I actually felt quite comfortable talking to people or approaching others when I was allowed to do it that way. As a result, I've met a lot of people from all over the world that my life literally wouldn't be the same without. My fiancé, for instance, and his awesome family, not mention any number of friends, fans, clients, and so forth that have made a huge difference in my quality of life over the past few years.

The Business Opportunities

I've always wanted to be someone who actually did my art and writing for an actual living on a freelance basis. However, because of my shyness and discomfort when it comes to pounding the pavement looking for clients, I know it's something I never would have actually done without the internet. The potential pay-off just would not have outweighed the horror involved with actually making cold calls or knocking on doors. Yes, it's still a lot of work to find clients, advertise myself, and prove myself to prospective buyers, but I'm able to do it within my comfort zone now. As a result, I've learned to have fun with it. I love that side of freelancing, actually. 

Plus, I'm able to reach people all over the world when I utilize the internet. I have fans and clients from all over the globe. Sometimes I'm still caught by surprise in regards to the number of people I'm able to reach just by doing my own thing. That's something I wouldn't have been able to accomplish nearly as easily if I decided the internet was evil and that I was only going to try to market my services locally.

Oddly enough, having so much of my life and my career directly connected to the internet like this has helped me become more outgoing in real life. Don't get me wrong. I'll always kind of be shy and anti-social, but the additional confidence I've gained because of the things I've been able to achieve professionally and socially online has carried over into real life as well. I find it easier to talk to and approach people than I used to, so no... definitely no downside for me when it comes to the internet. I'm living proof that it can be used as a productive force that can really enhance your life and make it everything it can be.

This piece is inspired by a Kabbalah concept I was reading about the other day called the bread of shame. Although it appears to be up for interpretation as far as what exactly bread of shame is and is not from a religious standpoint, this is the concept as I understand it and apply it to my own life and experiences. 

Bread of shame refers to rewards or recognition in life that someone did not earn through their own hard work and perseverance, meaning that they are rewards unable to bring true satisfaction. If a person continually "eats the bread of shame" instead of earning their own way through the world in one way or another, they will become dejected and stagnant, a mere shadow of the person they could be, both to themselves and to the world around them.

Most of you can probably recall my mentioning that from time to time, I will actually Google myself. As I understand it, a lot of people do -- especially if they have work they're putting out there into cyberspace and wanting to keep tabs on. Mostly I do it because I just want to see what comes up, and I like to know whether or not Google is prioritizing my personal website over... say... my My Space or something -- boring stuff like that. However, every so often, I unexpectedly stumble across something really awesome postedabout me by someone else that I doubt I would have found any other way, and to be honest, some of those things just make my day.

I actually stumbled across a little blurb about All Cats Are Grey a while back via Google. I've been meaning to blog it for a while so that I don't forget it, and in my usual fashion, I'm only just now getting around to it even though I originally found it months ago. It was written by an art student who opened up an art blog on Live Journal as part of a school project that required him or her to choose pieces of art that moved them, analyze why, and then write a few words about it. This person actually chose All Cats as one of their pieces at one point. They had the following to say about it. 

What attracted me to this piece: I love the sensibility the artist managed to achieve with this piece - she effectively managed to replicate the feel of a real media painting while painting solely with her tablet in various programs. The lighting, composition and gesture of the figure all also really stuck me in the eye.

Additional commentary: The artist's comments on her inspiration for the piece struck me as well - I as well was ignorant of the phrase "in the dark, all cats are grey" - and now this piece has presented it to me for my consideration. The imagery Hilson uses of a dejected looking musician suggests that the saying means that if unknown, no matter what your skill, you're still nothing but a wisp - a shadow. I feel that too.

I was honestly really touched by this review. They even referred to me by my last name which made me feel incredibly professional. You know... it's one thing to hear that your art is moving from your friends or your family, but it's a completely different animal to hear it from a total stranger who has no reason to want to boost your ego. Especially when it's a stranger that never figured you'd ever read their words. 

Part of me wishes this person had told me they were going to showcase my artwork in advance, but another part of me is really glad they didn't, you know? This was a nice surprise. It's kind of funny, but I always used to fantasize about something I painted or wrote being discussed in a classroom one day. I didn't think I was really anywhere close to reaching that point yet, but it's kind of nice to see that that's apparently happened in its own way already at least once that I know of. I love that.

The funny thing is, I often find myself wondering when, and at what level, I can actually consider myself tobe at "that point" without feeling like a pompous ass. I never look at myself and consider myself to be a successful artist, or even a popular artist. I guess this is mostly because I tend to look at things like that in comparative terms, and when I see so many artists out there that are many, many times bigger than I am, I guess it's hard to see myself as being comparable to them in any way. 

They make more money, they make money more often, they have more fans, and they're more widely known. In my own eyes, I'm nothing like them. I'm just someone who likes to draw and has been obsessive enough about it over the years to have become reasonably good at it. Seeing that art students are digging up one's work and discussing it for school does help a lot though. 

I don't know who you are, how you found my work, or if you're someone that ever visits my site on a regular basis, but thank you. You really made my day, and the fact that this piece touches you touches me in return. We artists are just like everyone else, after all. Even if we're good, we don't always really knowthat. We're only human, after all.

Dude... do you know what I did today? I wrote a fan letter for the first time since I was... oh, I don't know... 10? It was kind of a fan letter anyway. I know you all remember my last self portrait, Juliet of the Spirits. You also probably remember me mentioning that it was inspired in part by a B-52's song by the same name. 

A couple of you might also know how much I love the B-52's in general. I've been listening to them for years, and really -- no music makes me smile quite like theirs does. Sometimes I tend to be a gloomy person, so anything that never fails to make me smile is pretty much worth twice its weight in gold to me. I especially just adore Fred, the lead vocalist, and Kate, the redhead who -- by the way -- both still have more energy at 56 and 60 than I have ever had. They've come to represent good feelings and fun in my head over the years as icons tend to do. You know how it is with public figures you maybe look up to or admire in some way. 

Well, the other night, I think I mentioned to Seth that when I first painted that picture, I honestly thought about just shooting one or both of them a quick e-mail showing it to them and saying a few nice words about how much their music, and their positive energy, has inspired me over the years. Both of them are on My Space, so it couldn't be easier. I don't even have to scrounge up a stamp, you know? Eventually I decided not to. I don't remember why exactly, but it probably had something to do with not wanting to risk coming off like a stalker or a nutbar.

Seth didn't seem to think I'd come off like a nutbar at all, so he actually talked me into doing it, even though it's been a while since I finished the picture itself. Kate's status was set to "away", since the B-52's are touring right now, but I was able to send said message to Fred, and I'm really glad I did it. I didn't do it to get anything in return, as I'm sure they're way too busy to personally answer all their fan mail. I more did it because this type of thing is something I think about from time to time and never do, and I need to do less thinking and more doing. I also did it in the hopes that that picture might brighten someone else's day for even a minute. I decided there are too many people out there that have no problem spreading hate and gossip, and not enough people who feel truly comfortable sharing good things with people they admire. I like being one of the ones who shares good things.

I remember a really long time ago -- I think I was still in my teenagerhood even -- I did this really beautiful pencil portrait of Tori Amos. I was so proud of it, and somewhere along the way I decided it would be so cool if I could somehow give it to her. Her music had brought so much to my life, and I really wanted her to have that one little thing as a "thank you". Even if I sent it and she never got it, or blew it off because she probably gets tons of gifts from fans and mine would have just been one more, it still would have made me feel good to make the gesture.

Cut to me a year or so later. I'm getting ready to go to my first concert ever, which just happened to be Tori Amos. The friends I was going with were talking about waiting out back after the show in case she came out to sign anything or talk to the fans, which she sometimes did in those days. I thought briefly of my portrait and had this image in my head of actually getting to hand it to her, but then ultimately decided not to bring it. I told myself it was because it was unlikely she'd actually come out, but really... I think I just chickened out for all the reasons I just babbled about above. 

Of course, it turned out that she did come out after that concert. She passed right in front of me. Close enough for me to realize what a tiny, petite little lady she really is, close enough for me to smell her perfume, and certainly close enough for me to have given her the picture if I'd wanted to. Do you have any idea how many times I've kicked myself over that? Just another one of life's little missed opportunities. So... maybe I missed my chance to tell Tori how I felt about her music, but at least maybe Fred will get a chance to find out. I like the idea of that.

You know... I had more to say about this regarding something fucking awesome I found on-line that had more to do with me as an a would-be icon instead of as a fan, but I've rambled on in my usual fashion and made this post long enough in the process, so I'll talk about that in part two of this. Stay tuned!

Synesthesia: A condition in which one type of stimulation evokes the sensation of another, as when the hearing of a sound produces the visualization of a color.

As some of you may remember me mentioning in the past, I have actually experienced synesthesia in one form or another all my life. It's a phenomenon I rely on quite heavily when doing anything creative, and it is a condition that is quite common in artists, writers, and other creative individuals. It's literally the reason I always have so many ideas and rarely hit a wall during the creative process... at least when it comes to my personal pieces.

This is the first piece in what will be a series based on my personal synesthetic impressions of certain words that represent abstract concepts. As the title probably implies, this one is based on the word "loyalty". The following is an excerpt from one of my blog entries that will help walk you through the piece.

I recently finished reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, which was probably one of the most beautifully written books from a language standpoint that I've ever read. By the end of the first paragraph, I could tell this man was a fellow synesthete. We have a very distinctive way of expressing ourselves that jumps right out at other synesthetes. When I got done with the book, I decided to look up some additional information on the book and on Nabokov, as I often like to do such things upon finishing a book or movie that I particularly enjoyed. I turned out that Nabokov was indeed a synesthete as I had thought, and that like me, his synesthesia is something he relied on quite a bit when it came to his creative expression.

Among other things, I remember reading a direct quote from him on how he interpreted the word "loyalty". He said that for him, the word loyalty invokes the image of a golden fork lying in the sun. I thought that was incredibly beautiful. I don't know that I personally get a golden fork from loyalty, but it does have a very warm, sunny feeling attached to it. However, to me, it smells yeasty and golden... like freshly baked bread that has been made with white flour. I feel that if you could hold loyalty in your hands and give it a squeeze, it would give way easily and be pliable and soft much like bread is. Thinking about it does make me feel lazy and innocent, as if I've been lying on the beach in a sunbeam of perfect temperature without any clothes on.

As you can see, I included a nod in the direction of Vladimir Nabokov with the inclusion of the golden fork. The rest of the objects included are all the things that personally come to mind when I think of "loyalty" or say the word.

I used to think it was just me, but after existing in the art world for a while and getting to know some of my peers, I now see that we artists really do all come up against the same faux pas over, and over, and over again. Like most misconceptions and assumptions, they get more irritating with repetition, too. Life's fun like that. Here's a little how-to guide on how to irritate your favorite artists, if that's truly what you aspire to. Pretty much anything on this list will work like a charm.

1. Ask us for free shit. 

This one works especially well if you can clearly see that we keep shops where we sell prints of our work, or accept commissions to bring in extra money. It works even better if you treat us like we should be flattered you even asked. Most artists do what they do because they love it, but it's still their profession. They like being asked to paint a portrait of your cat for free about as much as you like being asked to come in and work an extra shift at your job for nothing.

2. Steal our work and use it to decorate your My Space without asking for permission. 

This is another one where you get extra points for acting like we should feel flattered, because I can assure you we won't. I plan on discussing it on a more in-depth basis when I get around to writing about copyright, but for now, suffice it to say that unless some special negotiation has been made by the artist in question,all artists own the copyrights to their work. You aren't legally allowed to do anything with it without that artist's permission, including post it on your My Space because you think it's pretty. It's stealing, and all artists hate you with the fire of a thousand suns for doing it.

3. Take 2 a step further and claim our work as your own. 

I wish I had a dollar for every person I've caught making layouts or avatars with my work, offering it up to other people for their own personal use... and demanding that anyone who uses what they made give them credit for their hard work. This is despite the fact that nowhere do these people give me any credit for making the original art they stole. Needless to say, if an artist catches someone doing this, that person should probably sleep with one eye open for a while. Just sayin'. Don't even get me started on what will probably happen if an artist catches you trying to make money off of their work. I can pretty much guarantee that it will start off with your being sued for damages.

4. Ask us if we take requests. 

We're not jukeboxes. Nor are we street musicians playing for tips on the corner of Wherever and Main. Even if it doesn't seem like they normally sell their work, most artists will be far more flattered, and far less likely to cut you, if you ask whether or not they are accepting commissions. Offer to pay us to make what you want, and don't get irritated with us when we want more than 5 dollars from you to do it. You also might want to make sure you're asking us to do something that suits our personal artistic style, which brings me to our next point.

5. Assume that to an artist, all media, artistic styles, and subject matter is the same. 

An artist who sculpts in ceramics will probably not be willing, or able, to paint a photorealistic landscape in oils. A fine artist who does paint photorealistic landscapes will probably not care to be asked if they could sketch you a cartoon or two. Before asking an artist to make you something in a particular style or medium, look through their portfolio and see if that's even something they do first. 

For some reason, I always have people asking me if I can whip them up some anime. Why? I really don't know, since there's nothing in my portfolio that looks like even a distant cousin to anime. I don't even knowhow to draw anything like that. Why don't I learn to draw anime if so many people want that from me, you ask? It's simple. I don't want to. I don't like anything about anime. I also have no passion or ability to work in that style. It's true that there are artists out there that are quite varied, but most of us have our own style that we stick to for a reason. Once again, that brings me to my next point.

6. Ask us to imitate the style of another artist.

You get double piss-off points if the artist you want us to imitate is another independent artist who just happens to be super in-demand right now in a way that we ourselves have yet to become. This will give us the impression that you either already approached the other artist and they didn't want to take your project, or that they were willing to take your project but expected you to pay way more than you wanted to, so you decided the next best thing would be going to someone you see as a lesser artist and asking them to make you a cheap knock-off. Doing this to us will pretty much guarantee a cutting. We want to be appreciated for our own work and our own styles... not our possible ability to copy someone else's. Wouldn't you?

7. Put our work down and tell us we need to "learn to accept a critique" when we proceed to kick your ass.

Snotty comments that put down our personal style, tastes in subject matter, or the media we work in are not critiques. Your retarded opinion in the form of "I just don't like it because I don't like purple" is not a critique. That's just insulting ass-baggery that your average artist won't appreciate, and you're best off keeping it to yourself. 

Critiques are constructive comments, preferably from someone who actually knows what they're talking about, that we can use to improve our technique so we keep getting better each time we sit down to create. If you're not clear on what type of commentary constitutes a professional critique, don't try to give one until you are. 

Critiques are welcome and valued by most serious artists. Ass-baggery is definitely not. So many people's lack of skill in knowing the difference is exactly the reason so many artists out there just throw up their hands and ask people not to give them critiques at all.

8. Ask us why we we didn't pick a "real" career.

Call a would-be professional artist's art "a hobby" the way some of my ex-whatevers have in the past for extra pain. I double-dog dare you. Maybe it's not what you would pick for yourself, and maybe it's not the most sure-fire way to become filthy rich under the sun, but not only is art a career, but it's a career I wish more people would respect and take seriously. The world would be a dull, dull place without its graphic designers, illustrators, cartoonists, and fine artists -- not to mention its musicians, actors, chefs, fashion designers, and authors. Am I right? We artists are pretty damned attached to what we do, and we take it really seriously. We'd love it if you did, too.

I think I opened up a mental can of worms with that synesthesia post the other day. Ever since, I've been thinking about it a lot, and consciously examining some of my personal perceptions. Part of that has to do with trying to think about concepts I might want to illustrate sooner or later in the art series I mentioned, but eventually I started thinking more about names. Names trigger major synesthetic responses in me.

Take my own name for instance: Shannon. Now... I don't hate it. It's a nice name. It's Irish, and I love feeling connected to my Irish heritage. Other people certainly think it's pretty, or so they say, anyway. After all, "what a beautiful name" is kind of a classic way for the uncreative to try to butter somebody up, but I digress as usual. As far as synesthetic response brought forth by the sound or thought of my own name?

It's actually a sensation I get from it -- a hard-edged, thin, jittery sensation. The closest thing I can think of for clarification's sake is having your teeth chatter uncontrollably in the cold. It's not the most horrible sensation under the sun, but it's hardly relaxing or pleasant either. I guess that's why I like it when Seth calls me Cat. Cat feels fresh, alive, and full of energy to me instead -- like a fish that's just been caught during a day of breathing the cleanest air in existence.

Now, since it was originally the reading of this book that brought all this synesthesia stuff back to the forefront of my mind, I consider the name Lolita. This is indeed a lovely name. Lo-LEE-ta. It feels drowsy and heavy -- rich and sweet -- in my mouth when I say it. As a matter of fact, the sound of Lolita's name, whether it's said aloud or merely thought internally, makes me feel exactly as if someone is cooking a huge pot of homemade baked beans in the next room, and -- weird as I'm sure it is to you -- that is one of the most comforting things I can personally imagine.

This is so much the case that while I was reading the book, I had near constant cravings for baked beans from reading that name over and over again. We had to stock the cupboard with cans of them, and the fact that I ran out of beans before I actually finished the book was a travesty. Lolita's first and last names together: Lolita Haze? Baked beans with some kind of sweet, frosted, cherry-cinnamon pastry for dessert. Not exactly a diet-friendly thought to have in your head throughout the reading of a whole book, but a pleasant one nonetheless.

If you are curious what sensation your name reminds me of from my personal synesthetic standpoint, feel free to tell it to me and ask me to enlighten you. Just promise me you won't get angry with me if it's something negative, since it's an involuntary reaction and all and has nothing to do with the person. The correlation I have to some people's names makes perfect sense, while others -- like the ones I associate with Lolita -- are just plain weird. One thing's for certain though. Synesthesia makes life more fun. When I remember to consider it, I'm quite grateful for mine.

I haven't blogged about this in a long while, but those of you who have been following me for a very long time, by way of one or more of my various blogs, might recall me having talked about a phenomenon called synesthesia. For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, here's a copied and pasted snippet from Wikipedia on the subject.

Synesthesia is a neurologically-based phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to automatic, involuntary experiences in a second sensory or cognitive pathway. In one common form of synesthesia, known as grapheme ? color synesthesia, letters or numbers are perceived as inherently colored, while in ordinal linguistic personification, numbers, days of the week and months of the year evoke personalities. In spatial-sequence, or number form synesthesia, numbers, months of the year, and/or days of the week elicit precise locations in space (for example, 1980 may be "farther away" than 1990), or may have a (three-dimensional) view of a year as a map (clockwise or counterclockwise).

This is actually a phenomenon I have experienced all my life, and more or less all the time. I have the most experience with the "grapheme" and "ordinal linguistic personification" varieties of synesthesia paraphrased in the above description, but I have also experienced it in other ways that I don't think the quote covers. For much of my life, I actually thought that everyone experienced the world in this manner. I thought everyone disliked certain names because the combination of sounds tasted bad in their mouths when spoken. I thought that everyone saw abstract concepts as having colors, flavors, and smells. Very real ones, too. It wasn't until more recent years that I found out that not only was that not so, but that this phenomenon actually had a name.

I don't consider my synesthetic experiences to be unpleasant... not at all. In fact, I rely on mine heavily when it comes to my artwork and my creative writing. My work literally would not be what it is without synesthesia. It especially makes writing descriptive passages and poetry a lot easier. I'm not being as deep and inventive as it sounds sometimes. I'm very likely just interpreting what I actually see, hear, or smell when it comes to certain concepts more often than not. The real challenge is in figuring out a way to interpret these things so that they make some logical sense to other people as well. This is usually easiest to do with my visual art, because anything seems to go when it comes to pictures.

I recently finished reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, which was probably one of the most beautifully written books from a language standpoint that I've ever read. By the end of the first paragraph, I could tell this man was a fellow synesthete. We have a very distinctive way of expressing ourselves that jumps right out at other synesthetes. When I got done with the book, I decided to look up some additional information on the book and on Nabokov, as I often like to do such things upon finishing a book or movie that I particularly enjoyed. I turned out that Nabokov was indeed a synesthete as I had thought, and that like me, his synesthesia is something he relied on quite a bit when it came to his creative expression.

Among other things, I remember reading a direct quote from him on how he interpreted the word "loyalty". He said that for him, the word loyalty invokes the image of a golden fork lying in the sun. I thought that was incredibly beautiful. I don't know that I personally get a golden fork from loyalty, but it does have a very warm, sunny feeling attached to it. However, to me, it smells yeasty and golden... like freshly baked bread that has been made with white flour. I feel that if you could hold loyalty in your hands and give it a squeeze, it would give way easily and be pliable and soft much like bread is. Thinking about it does make me feel lazy and innocent, as if I've been lying on the beach in a sunbeam of perfect temperature without any clothes on.

This gave me the most wonderful idea for a series of art pieces I'd like to begin as soon as possible. I've been wanting to start a new series for a while now, except I didn't want to do any of the same old ones a millions artists have already done. I wanted something that you don't see much, if at all, and that only I could really do in quite the way I'd do it. I'm thinking that I'd really like to do a series of indefinite length that will illustrate how I see the names of certain abstract concepts through synesthesia. I'd love to share some of that with others, because as I said, it's so difficult to do properly in words. However, pictures seem just the thing. I don't know why I've never thought of it before.

Obviously loyalty will be first. I see what I want to do very, very clearly in my head, and I know already that I'm going to be very proud of the results if they even come close to what I'm imagining. I hope you'll all like this series as much as I know I am going to like creating it. If you find synesthesia interesting and would like to read more about it in general, feel free to read the Wikipedia article I quoted in its entirety right here.